2010 02/03

5 Ways to Reduce Your Comment Count

By Erica
View Comments com
Filed in: Blogging, Featured

Comments are a blogger’s report card. They let us know if we’re growing, if anyone’s actually interested. Why in the world someone would want to reduce the grade on their blog report, I haven’t the slightest clue, but just in case you do…

Here are a few ways to make sure you don’t receive comments:

1. Require a login. No one wants to become a member of every site they visit! Requiring someone register on then login to your site before leaving a comment is sure to weed out most of the people who would ordinarily express their appreciation for your content.

2. Lecture or Talk-At Your Audience. If you want to be sure no one adds anything to what you have to say, just tell them how to do something. Be so complete in your lecture that no one could possibly add to it. Make. Them. Yawn.

3. Never, Ever, Ask Questions. Asking your reader what he thinks, how he’d handle a situation, or if he’s every tried something is an invitation to comment. For goodness sake, forego the questions!

4. Publish Full Posts to The homepage. If you publish excerpts on your home page people have to click through to read the rest, and then they’ll see the comment form! You don’t want that! So, put the whole post on the front page to make sure no one has to click through for more content.

5. Post and Disappear. Once you hit publish, just walk away and never revisit the post. Forget about checking the comments to see who may have actually taken the time to register, login, and get past your lecture to say “Thanks” or ask for help.

Bonus!
Simply, Care. Less. If the above things don’t work to bring your grades down just try the old Care Less attitude. This one will make sure you get an ‘F’ every time. Never respond to comments or questions. Turn off the spam blockers. Post sporadically. Make sure your blog is void of personality. Take up the welcome mat and replace it with some trashy pop-up ads.

I guess I should mention that the above tips will also help to bring down your page views, ad revenue, and overall reputation. *Taking a bow - amazed at my own ability to cover 4 major topics in one post*

At the risk of contradicting myself, I’m asking…

Do you have any more BAD advice for bloggers?

Victor

Lol! This is halarious! Thanks for the good laugh.
EricaMueller

Glad it made you laugh. The items on the list seem so common sense to me, that I can't figure out why in the world people actually require things like logins to comment. When they ask me how to get more comments the first thing I do is check their site to see if they've been doing any of these things. haha

Glad you have you at EricaSays.com!
Graham Tappenden

Can I add IP blockers? ie. systems that prevent two comments from the same IP within a certain amount of time.

To the outside World, our office is one IP address regardless of how many computers are online.
EricaMueller

That's true, Graham. I've been on several sites where I've had a problem
with commenting too much in too little time. haha I imagine if you were
in a large office this could be a big problem!!
Graham Tappenden

We are a small office, but we both blog :-)
Alison Moore Smith

Oh, I was going to add captcha and auto-play. Or how about those trashy pop-up ads that float with you now matter where you scroll. Ack!
kosmo @ The Casual Observer

I get what you're saying about excerpts ... but I just can't break an article into pieces on the main page. I've tried, but I just feel bad for a poor little half article, seemingly lost in the world.

You're definitely right about requiring a logon. I don't even require an email address on my site, so that guests can leave a comment. I love seeing Gravatars, but comments are great.

I hopped here from your comment on Pro Blogger.
Ileane

Hi Erica,

I'm with Jimi on this one, just disable comments. HA!

I had a serious problem with comments on my Blogger blog until I installed Intense Debate. Comments were being sucked down into what I call the black hole of cyberspace. So I'll say that using the default commenting system on Blogger is a great way to deter comments.

@Ileane
EricaMueller

I didn't even know you could install different commenting systems on
blogger! See how long I've been away from all that??? Seriously, blogger
blogs are one my my commenting pet peeves. Especially the ones where I
really have to hunt for the "Leave Comment" link and then it opens
everything in a new window.

Some people just love Blogger and I don't get it. I used it for my first
two years, switched to WP and have never regretted it. I feel like Mike
when he talks about Captchas.... when people start talking about the
blogger platform I start to hyperventilate...
Jimi Jones

Hey, forget all of that other stuff listed here, way too much trouble.
Just close the post to comments in the first place! :-)
Happy and Blue 2

Well this post failed miserably. You got tons of comments.

It doesn't bother me but some people really dislike having to wait for comment approval when it's their first time visiting a site.

Or having to retype their details each time they comment. Again it doesn't bother me.

It does annoy me when someone asks a question and never responds to the comments though. Some well known bloggers do this all the time..
EricaMueller

Yes, but I set it up to fail. You see, I asked a question...

Retyping my details doesn't bother me either. And, neither does having
my comment held for moderation. I feel every site owner has that
privilege. For some, it's as simple as wanting to see every comment.
With DISQUS I get an email each time someone comments, so I get to see
everything right away. I like it that way.
Vlad Dolezal

I didn't realize publishing only post snippets on homepage increases comments! I just thought it declutters and faster-loading-ers my homepage. Makes sense, though.
EricaMueller

I don't know that it's a proven fact, but I know that personally, if I
can read the whole thing on the front page I'll just keep reading, on
down to the next post. Clicking through to comment interrupts the
flow... I imagine it's the same for others. Seeing that comment form,
and the conversation that's already happening draws you in. You don't
see that unless you click through...
becky

captcha- one time it was behind the fill in area--couldn't even see it. lol

asking questions-- I have a survey up and with a count of 180-230 people hitting the site each day only 25 have filled it out!!! But the things they have mentioned are actually worth my time listening too. so i am not complaining.
it does feel like we are talking to ourselves and responding to it too. Just keep doing it, they'll {the readers} will eventually get it and jump in, or just jump in on the posts they like.
EricaMueller

Becky,

I think it's a percentage thing. I have many many more visits to my site
per day than I have comments. Some people just don't get into 'joining
in.' So long as the comments I receive are quality comments, and
opportunities to build a relationship I don't allow myself to fret about
it. I think it'll be the same with survey answers. The people who
matter, the real community, will answer the questions. Those who just
come and go won't.
Kris Cain

Good post! LOL!! I agree, and I don't like captcha's either... but have been thinking that I need to do something cause the spam is driving me crazy!
EricaMueller

Are you using Akismet for spam? How about checking your Settings/Discussion and make sure people's comments are held for moderation if they don't have previously approved comments. You can also tell it to hold all comments with links. Maybe that will help?

-- Sent from my Palm Pre
Kris Cain

Sorry, I was typing fast and distracted and was not clear! I use Disqus as well for comments. Comments are fine. It's the Contact Page that I am complaining about. :) Just recently folks have started bombarding it with jibberish. It drives me nuts.
EricaMueller

Kris,

I had a lot of contact form spam lately too. What plugin are you using?
I loved Contact7 (Think that's what it was called) for months, and now
all of a sudden I'm slammed with spam. Another site I manage (on WPMU)
is using a form that requires someone answer a simple math question.
It's easy to read, simple to do, and keeps the spam out. I need to find
a similar contact form for this site!

Girl, I have been to your site many times before, but just noticed you
have TWO sets of TWINS?!?! How old are they? And, when do you ever find
time to get on the computer? haha
Kris Cain

Sorry that i am just replying. Busy week! Yes, I use Contact Form 7 also! I just started having problems like 2 weeks ago. Not really bad, but enough me.

As for the twins... my girls will be 7 next month, and my boys will be 4 in May. :) They are good at entertaining each other. LOL!
bethakaconfusedhomemaker

On captchas I agree with the others. Captchas are horrible! Awful, awful, awful! Also, using a font or coloring combination that is really hard to read on your content. Having music that automatically plays is also something that isn't pleasant--if you want to share then offer it as a clickable item but not automatic. I tend to have multiple screens open & often play my own music when I'm online via my computer.
EricaMueller

Oh, the auto-play... I wouldn't even get so far as to wonder where to
comment. If something is playing when I enter your site, I'm VERY likely
to exit immediately... That should go in a post about increasing your
bounce rate. haha
Antti Kokkonen

Oo, I will put these tips into use right away... hey! wait... hmm. mmm. hmm. Aha!

The lack of comments on complete how-to "lecture" is very true, the occasional "thanks!" is all those posts get. They make great posts, but bad "comment baits" for sure :)
Aaron Hockley

One observation I've had is that with the rise in Twitter, a lot of folks who used to leave one-line and relatively unsubstantial comments such as "great post" or "I totally agree!" won't leave comments anymore, but they'll simply provide that feedback via Twitter.
EricaMueller

In a way, that could be nice, if you're really wanting to build a
community with interaction and conversation! Sometimes the quality of
the comments can be more valuable than the number of comments. When
readers see the lively discussions they're more likely to join in and
leave something other than 'good post'
SomeGirl

I'd love to ask more questions... but as a new blogger it's embarrassing if no one answers... any suggestions? - Michelle
SomeGirl

Thanks guys! I joined a community yesterday, so I'll look forward to seeing how that works. And I just might post a question in my next post... at your post encouragement, Erica! Maybe if I stop being shy, they'll stop being shy. ;) Now, I better find a way to fix #2 and #4 on the list. :) Didn't mean to turn this comment into a self-help session! lol Thanks, though!
EricaMueller

Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with not being answered on every post.
Keep asking. Get a few blogging friends together and agree to help start
the discussion on each other's posts. Once the flow is there people will
be less shy!
Happy and Blue 2

If you don't want to waste time finding friends couldn't you just create a bunch of fake blogs and use them to comment from..
EricaMueller

Now, that's an idea! J/K!!!
Kevin Tea

Michelle, plug away and someone will answer. Join a community that has a good reputation for helping its members and become one of the team, works for me.
Kevin Tea

And for No 6 don't forget to put some kind of Captcha facility that is really hard to interpret the numbers and letters ....
EricaMueller

OMG, how could I forget Captchas???? I'm one of those people who can't
read 90% of those things and am constantly annoyed at having to refresh
the image several times to find one I can read and type correctly.
Mike CJ

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON CAPTCHAS!
Kevin Tea

Blood pressure alert, blood pressure alert ....